My advice to everyone, NEVER room up with a best friend, it is a sure way of ending your friendship! My friendship with my best friend ended because we moved in together. It is sad but what can you do? Just have to move on. I will however say this, I did mention to her that I was not sure about moving in with each other because I know that I am difficult to live with and that I did not want our friendship to end. She told me that if I didn't go through with what we agreed, THAT would be reason for her to never talk to me again. So I felt that I had to move in with her just because I did not want to ruin our friendship. Regardless, it ended, either way. We had a lot of indifferences. Make sure that you communicate everything that needs to be communicated between roommates.
Let me begin by going back to this past summer when we first moved in with each other. It was great and we were hanging out all the time. I had an internship so my time was split between working the internship while she was at home. Our place was soon to be known as the party house. Everynight we always had people over. It was full of fun nights as WELL as dramatic nights. We had a friend who loves drama. He loves to create drama and tension between people. Not to mention he loves to slander people and just talks ill about people simply because he finds it amusing. I personally think he is just jealous of those he talked about. Not to mention, my former best friend invited someone who I used to be friends with to our apartment complex, even though I had asked her never to invite her to our apartment. She went behind my back while I was sleeping, and invited her. When I woke up, this friend told me that she was at the pool and that really upset me. My best friend at that time knows how much that I did not like this girl and she still invited her over to our complex without telling me. It was fine. I got over it. I also had asked my former roommate to not invite this other guy over to our place either. I need to clarify he's this big Latin guy who claims he's from Argentina and claims that his mother bought an Hermes belt for him, which we found out that he had stolen from a friend of ours, as well as stole my best friend's boyfriend's sunglasses, and she agreed that she wouldn't. I never told her to not be friends with these people anymore, I simply just didn't want them in my place of residence. We had a nice conversation and we made an agreement and she told me that she would not invite them over anymore. And a few days later, when I return from my internship, who do I see in our apartment? The guy that I had asked not to be invited to our place. I was very hurt by my roomates actions. I understood that she didn't have a car, didn't have a job, so she was stuck there in our apartment, but why did she go behind my back and invite him over without even letting me know. I had to see him at our apartment when I got home and he is extremely loud and all I wanted to do was go relax in my apartment but how can you relax while your roommate disregards you in that manner, and not to mention the guy who I did not want there was there? I never voiced up because I just wanted to let it slide.
This guy and I made up later and we were friends again, but until I found out that he mistreated my really good friend and also that we found he had stolen from our friends, but this is besides the point. I am no longer friends with someone like him and people who still stay friends with him, needs to know that he can do this to his "bestfriends" that he can do this to anyone!
My roommate told me that her brother was coming through to Dallas, on his way to Mexico, and he was going to stay with us for a few days. Which of course, that would be more than okay for her brother to stay with us for a few days, after he is her brother. So my roommate and I agreed that we needed some sort of entertainment and she could not put the tv under her name and I couldn't either because I didn't have any credit, so I put it under my caretaker's name. Everything that I had was under my caretaker's name. My cell phone, in which I put her under the plan, the electricity, as well as the satelite dish which I called to have installed. It was not too long into our summer that she met this guy and a week later or so, they were in a relationship and right after that we installed the satelite dish. I was so happy that she had found a guy who she could be serious with. She and I always talked about how tired we were just meeting random guys and what not. I told her as long as she is happy that's all that matters, and I will be happy for her as well. As their relationship developed her brother was just days away from getting into Dallas. When he got there, I found out that his trip to Mexico got cancelled so he was going to be staying longer with us. That to me was not a problem at all. But what became a problem to me was that when he leaves the apartment, he doesn't turn the lights off and that he would leave the refrigerator door ajar and things would melt. I didn't care that he was there, he is her brother and her blood, but because she isn't the only one paying the bills, it is an understood thing that someone who is staying with us for that long period of time, should respect me who is not his family member and turn the lights off when he's not there. He goes to our club house and use the internet there because I didn't install the internet because it was free at the clubhouse. And he would be in there all night long and when I come home, the lights would be on and no one would be there. So for me who has to pay half the bills would not want to have to pay for wasted electricity. I'll admit I am frugal and I have to be because my parents give me an allowance per month and that is what I have to go by for monthly expenses. My main reason in moving in with my best friend at the time was to be able to save the money that my parents gave me so that I can spend it on other things such as clothes, shoes, eating, and going out. Also, another thing that bothered me was the fact that my roommate would leave her brother to be at our apartment almost every night, until her mom came, to go stay with her boyfriend, leaving her 15 years old brother alone at our place. That was not a comfortable feeling for me. But I never really said anything to her, and I guess that was my fault, I expressed what I was going through with my other friends though. And most of them, if not all of them, thought that was not too cool of her to do and the fact that her brother was leaving the lights on for hours and hours when he isn't there, wasn't too cool either.
The apartment is half mine after all I am paying for half of it as well as half of all the bills. I would like to come home and be able to feel like I am at home, which I wouldn't have a problem doing so if I lived alone, but I didn't. I would try to respect her by not inviting dates over and what not because that would not be cool of me to have dates over while her 15 years old brother was staying with us. Which meant that I could not normally do things in the comfort of my place and not to mention to have privacy either. BUT one thing she never communicated to me was that she was going to leave her brother at our place every night to go to her boyfriend's place. She just automatically felt because she pays for half the place that she can leave him there while she's not there. I really want to know if anyone would be okay with that? I just want my reader's opinion. Would anyone out there be okay with that action? And of course her boyfriend is fine with that because he gets to be with his girlfriend. So as the weeks flew by and her brother had been staying at our place for quite a while, 4 or 5 weeks, and I was just getting irritated by her just leaving him there and he just leaving the lights on and what not. And not to mention she would leave her brother at a party to go be with her boyfriend which I find funny because he left a 15 year old boy to drink while she wasn't there. This big Latino guy and I kinda coerced him to try something that made her mad after she found out. But they took him to a bar at 15 years old and got him drunk. Now this has way worst consequences on the people involved if the police were to be involved. But they don't think things like that. And when she left him at the party, she made him our responsibility, he's her responsibility, and once again if the police were to be near by and had stopped in for something, which probably isn't too likely, not as much as the bar scenario, we all could have been in serious trouble for getting an underage kid drunk. But private scenarios usually don't have the same problems as the public bar scenarios. Anyway, by the time our utility bills got to us, I asked her if it would be cool that we could split the utility bills three ways because he did leave lights on and not to mention the television on, while he was away at the guesthouse on the internet. And let me remind you, he was in there for hours and hours which meant that the electricity had been on for hours and hours. I never get the chance to watch tv because he would be watching soccer or other things as a 15 year old boy from another country would be entertained by because he doesn't have anything else to do, so I asked my roommate if it's cool if we could separate that into thirds. She was FURIOUS with me. She was disgusted that I could even ask her to do such a thing. She said when her mother comes into town, she would withdraw the money to cover the expenses. And that day she brings the money, I wanted to talk to her because I wanted her to see my point as to why I wanted her to pay 2/3's of the bills. She didn't want to hear it. She never wants to hear anything when she's mad. But then she said that he is her brother, not some random person, he is a part of her, what he uses is what she uses. The reason that she got a place was so that she could have her family stay there when they're in town. Well I understood her point, but she didn't understood my point, so I said that just keep the money, because it's not about the money, she was very angry and said "nah uh" you wanted the cash, so you take it. It wasn't all about the money. Mainly, it was the fact that I wanted her to respect the fact that I was living there also. In her head she blamed me for making her feel like crap. But what she didn't realize also, was that she was making me feel like crap as well. My roommate was a very good friend, I could say that was a selfish move on her behalf, but she isn't selfish. She was always there for me when I felt like crap and I'm crying my eyes out and what not. But in another sense, she was selfish as well. She didn't realize by leaving her brother there and him leaving the lights on and wasting electricity was disrespecting me as well. Since she didn't feel that it was, she didn't think I would feel that way. Which sucked because we had a falling out because of that. We then got over that and became best friends again. That's what best friends do, they fight and they get over things, right? So by this time, her brother had left our place, and a friend of mine came to stay in Dallas. And she took my roommates room and I failed to mention that she was going to stay with us. I told her that she could put her things up in her room. I didn't know that she was going to tear the place apart. My roommate came home to get some things, because she practically is staying over her boyfriend's place and sees her room in disastrous condition. And she had every right to be pissed off at me because my guest took her room apart and I didn't inform her that she was at our place. I fully take all responsibility for the inactive part on my behalf. And I felt horrible that she came back to her place and it looked like hell in there. Which I didn't know that it would look like that but when I went into look it did. And once again our friendship suffered from that. Then we made up again. And we were hanging out on our special day that we had together which were Fridays. And until one night, about 3 or 4 weeks before I had to move out of the country, I had friends over. I had my own bottles of wine and my neighbor/friend also brought over two bottles of wine. With my guests and myself, totalled up to 5 of us there. After we drank our third bottle of wine, my neighbor asked me if he could open up another bottle, and I had another bottle left, the tempranillo, of course he could open it. I went into the room to do something as I was feeling quite drunk (I am of legal age to drink, by the way) and he accidentally open my roommate's bottle of wine. It happened to be a special gift from her parents. When I came out, he had already poured the wine to everyone else, and when I found out I was extremely pissed off because I knew how my roommate was going to react and it was confirmed when she said she didn't want to be friends anymore. I told her what had happened and all she said was I don't need to explain why I'm dissapointed, you should know your wrongs and one night even went as far as to saying that I screwed her over with her brother... which she never told her parents that she left him alone at our place to go over to her boyfriend's place every night... so, there you have it... i'm not in the right and neither is she. but to throw away your friendship over a bottle of wine just seems to be very petty immature, which means that she and her boyfriend makes a great pair because he is also immature, if you guys read the last post, you will see why... so tell me this, is this something to throw your friendship away?? or does it sound immature?
